Navigating Expectations: Embracing Choices and Blocking the Noise.
Introduction
When you’re faced with human relationships, expectations play the grandest role.
You’re set on a stage where your applause comes from your audience (family, friends and society) and if you follow the script you’re given, more accolades.
I too once followed my script. How to act, what to do, how to do it, where to go, when to smile, how to smile; the list was endless. But the problem with expectations is, with time it wears you out and you start to lose your authenticity.
I’m here to help you understand these expectations and still dance to your rythm.
The Watchful Gaze of Society
Everyone has a design for your behavior, appearance and success. The society has set the backdrop which has you trying to fill in bigger shoes. The thing with trying to live up to these expectations is that you start to feel this overwhelming weight on you and until you block out the noise, you won’t be able to discover who you really are beyond all that.
There’s a feeling of pressure and frustration that comes with dancing to others tunes.
Family: Our Dream Weavers
“Dream Weavers" is originally a term used to refer to the T’boli women who weave a special cloth that is used to mark major life events such as birth, marriage, life and death.
Our families have a significant role to play in our dreams. Whether we see it or not, family has a way of shaping our aspirations. Just as the T’nalak cloth has beautiful lines and colors, yet marred by restrictions, that is how the families we grew up in have expectations that are supportive but still restrictive or compelling.
It took a while to have the understanding that our families will always have their aspirations and tunes but it’s okay to have your own melody and dreams. Learning to wear their shining raiment is okay and still dance to your melodies…
…chase your dreams while respecting their love.
The Realm of Careers
This can be very exhausting; deciding what profession is just right, finding your feet in your profession, climbing the cooperate ladder, and maintaining an image.
There’s a fear that comes with not being good enough, displeasing your employer and co-workers. It causes a mental and physical melt down.
Take a breather and move in baby steps (it might seem like you’re moving too slowly) but you would be glad you did.
The Orchestra of Self-imposed Expectations
That’s right. We knowingly and unknowingly place strict expectations on ourselves. We might confuse it for the society or familial aspirations but we place the knives in our hands and cut too deeply.
These Self-imposed expectations are orchestrated using your visions and online glimpses of success. The truth is “perfection” is just a word coined to enslave you.
Embrace your imperfections and self empathy dear reader and ignore the impossible facade of perfection.
Chasing perfection leads to stress and disappointments.
Conclusion
Now while the lights are fading, always remember that there’s a captivating dance (enchanting if you will) that uses expectations as its tune but YOU are the choreographer and you compose the dance however you want.
